Therapy for the partner of a sexually addicted individual

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve found yourself questioning things you never imagined you’d have to. Maybe you’ve discovered secret sexual behaviour—pornography, chat rooms, affairs—or maybe it’s just a feeling in your gut that something isn’t adding up. You might be asking yourself over and over: is my partner a sex addict?

Sexual addiction, or compulsive sexual behaviour, often unfolds quietly. It’s not always dramatic or obvious. It can be hidden behind normal routines, excuses, or periods of calm. But underneath, there may be a persistent pattern—sexual behaviours that feel out of control and are damaging trust, intimacy, and emotional safety.

You might have noticed your partner making promises to stop certain behaviours, only to return to them again. You may sense shame or secrecy, but little real change. You might even feel like you’re losing your grip on reality, questioning your own judgment. These are signs that go beyond a single betrayal—this may be part of a wider pattern.

At IB Counselling, we often support individuals asking this very question: is my partner a sex addict, or is something else going on? Understanding the difference can be the first step toward healing—not just for your partner, but for you. Whether or not they have a formal diagnosis, the impact on you is real.

For many partners, the emotional fallout is overwhelming. You may be experiencing betrayal trauma—a deep, disorienting kind of pain that comes from repeated breaches of trust. And no, you’re not being dramatic or needy. Your distress is a normal response to something profoundly destabilising.

In the past, partners were sometimes labelled as “co-addicts,” implying shared dysfunction. Thankfully, modern counselling recognises that your response is not a pathology—it’s a survival response. You are reacting to broken trust, confusing cycles, and emotional isolation. That reaction is valid.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Therapy can provide you with a safe, supportive space to:

• Rebuild trust in yourself and your own instincts

• Understand how compulsive sexual behaviours work and how they might be affecting your relationship

• Learn to set boundaries and prioritise your own emotional health

• Decide what you need moving forward—whether that’s clarity, distance, healing, or deeper communication

If you’re struggling to make sense of what’s happening and keep finding yourself returning to the question, “is my partner a sex addict?” — we invite you to start your own healing journey today.